Fox and Broom

A mom's adventures in keeping healthy, keeping her sanity, and making stuff.

What Kind Of Cold Is This?

From April 6 up until the morning of April 10, I have felt like shit. It has been hard to eat. Hard to walk. Hard to move. On Saturday, my temperature spiked to 100.4. I am supposed to go to the ER if my temperature goes above 100.2.

So, to the ER we went. I had a lot of blood drawn and tests done. I was given some sort of heavy-duty pain medication that made me loopy and tired. They did not find anything that antibiotics would help, so I was eventually sent home with orders to take Tylenol. I was told that I had some sort of virus working its way through my system.

Holy shit. If this is what it feels like for me to get a cold now, I am tempted to just wear a medical mask everywhere I go. That was some crazy, awful, painful nonsense. But, now I understand why it is soooo important for normal people to keep their viruses away from folks who have a compromised immune system. Colds do not affect me in the same way. They completely knock me out. I don’t just get sniffles and a headache, I now get a full body ache, lose my ability to lift or move anything, and lose my appetite completely.

I am feeling better this morning and my appetite has returned, but that episode brought back flashbacks from my troubles just after I was first diagnosed. I seriously thought I was backsliding. It was scary. I am seeing my doctor today for a checkup and for my monthly bone treatment. I am hoping that this virus does not set back my treatments. It would seriously mess up some future plans if I have to delay getting my injection.

So, PLEASE be cautious of your friends (and newborns – newborns need a few weeks to buildup their immunity) who have compromised immune systems. “Just a cold” or “only a sniffle” becomes so much more for someone with no defenses.

Goals

I have two slightly different sets of goals. “Local goals” and “worldly goals.” The local goals are things that I need to either do to myself or can do in my area. The worldly goals are bigger or more expensive to achieve. In the past three weeks, I hit two local goals and one worldly goal.

I was able to finally walk around my block now that the weather has gotten friendlier. My block is pretty big. It is about the size of three blocks all together. In October, I was barely able to walk to the corner and back. This small feat was a big deal for me. April 2, I walked to the top of Garfield Hill. Garfield Hill is a part of the road that goes from 19th (at the base) to 27th (at the top), so it is a decent few blocks to walk. Especially if you are walking up a 17% grade.

Garfield Hill

The view from the top is really nice. I always forget how pretty it is up here. On a really nice day, you can see mountains in that direction.

The view from the top of Garfield Hill.

I had a lot of trouble trying to get a good picture of just what this hill looks like. It is daunting no matter if you are at the top of it or at the bottom. My kids always do the roller coaster “wheeeeeee” when we drive down it. I didn’t drive up or down it at all while we had snow and ice.

Garfield Hill from the top.

Garfield Hill from the bottom.

My walk ended with me looking goofy while admiring this willow tree’s flowers. They were so lovely.


The Worldly Goal that I hit was seeing the Pacific. I hiked so much that I could probably say that I hiked Badger Mountain, but I want to actually do that before I cross it out. It was a pretty amazing trip and I will be forever thankful to Abigail for setting it up. We saw a ton of sea lions, a mama gray whale and her calf, weird tentacles on the beach, sunset over the ocean, and a few really neat geological formations.

My first view of the Pacific. We were still driving to our cabin.

It was misty like this for almost our entire drive to the Oregon coast.

The Shelley Cabin. Our little home for a few days. It has a path down to the beach.

We had an amazing, sunny day. We took the Hobbit Trail to the beach.

There were a few of the tentacle-like things on the beach. I suspect they are actually some form of sea weed.

Picture from a viewpoint. This is the same viewpoint from which we saw hundreds of sea lions and a gray whale with her baby.

Hundreds of sea lions.

A couple of sunset pictures. That day was so beautiful and perfect.

These are pictures taken from our private beach access.

Sunset.

Sea lions inside of the Sea Lion Caves.

A view from inside of the Sea Lion Caves.

My final picture of the Pacific before we drove away from the cabin.

We stayed in a lovely little cabin between Yachats, OR and Florence, OR. If you ever need to rent a cabin in this area, I highly recommend searching for The Shelley Cabin. The Pacific was everything I thought it would be and more. It is definitely more powerful than the gentler (sort of) Atlantic where I grew up in Florida. It was very chilly out, so I did not even try to dip a toe into the water. I just can’t handle cold the way that I used to. All in all, a wonderful trip.

Oh – on our one sunny day, Abigail made me dress up and we had a photo shoot:

A Last Unicorn theme

Unfortunately, the horn broke.

Six Months

Well, here I am. I am still around. Six months ago, on August 25, 2016, my life completely changed. I had a really rough patch after that and have been working on getting my body back. Cancer takes a lot from a person. Strength, health, daily routines. My family has been amazing in supporting me while I was really down for the count. I honestly can not imagine surviving as long as I have without them. It makes me want to find the people with no support system and show them the same love.

I have now been able to tentatively plan trips. I have two upcoming trips that I am very excited about. I will be going to the Oregon coast with my sister and my other trip is a secret. I am seriously looking forward to posting all about it once we are back. Both of these vacations are something that I have been trying to plan and save for for at least 15 years.

My hair is starting to grow again. I have to laugh at it. It started with about six little hairs poking out of my head. Just six. It took weeks for more hair to start showing up. Now it is coming in with patches of blonde and patches of light brown. I guess I am a calico.

I am still having some issues with food. I really miss enjoying food. I eat because I need to, but there is no pleasure in it. I used to love the taste of a good rare steak, sushi, falafel gyro… Now it is just mundane. I choke on the weirdest things. I can’t eat lasagna anymore. Well, I can’t eat most pastas. I just start to gag. What is really strange with all of this, is that I have started to crave fish. I don’t even like fish. I have been cooking or buying fish 1 – 3 times per week. I don’t know what to make of this. Broccoli is another food that I can’t seem to get enough of. I guess it is good that I am craving healthy things, but I still don’t enjoy eating them.

In all, I am keeping mostly steady. My hemoglobin has been low, but above the danger zone since December. My white blood cells are still dangerously low, which means I try to stay away from large groups of people. With my immune system so compromised, a common cold could do a lot of damage to me. My tumor markers had dropped drastically, but are trying to climb again. I am not sure what that means, but if it keeps going up, there will be more scans done to see if I need to change or add to my current treatment.

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Mom and Max

Mourning Celebrities

I mourn celebrities. I know some people do not understand this. It actually took me by surprise. Why mourn for someone you never actually knew? Except I feel like we did know them. They shared their art with us and that is a very private thing to share with the world. The one that first hit me the hardest was Robin Williams. Celebrities I loved had, of course, died before him, but when he passed, I couldn’t watch any of his movies for over a year. I think his death hit me so hard because he had ALWAYS been a part of my life. From Mork and Mindy on up. I’ve watched Jumanji and Hook more times than I can count. I love his stand up and the episode of “Whose Line Is It Anyway” with Robin is still one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.

Then 2016 started off with David Bowie’s death. I cried randomly for three days. I had also just had a baby, so that probably added to the emotional part, but Bowie was an important musical figure to me. I feel like I discovered him late in my life – after high school – and couldn’t get enough of him.

And now we are leaving 2016 with the passing of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. I am having a lot of trouble with the loss of Carrie Fisher. She was a bad ass princess who only needed help her rescue. She was an advocate for mental health. She was hilarious. Princess Leia was a role model for how I played with the guys. There was only one other girl in my neighborhood and we were both tomboys.

This has been a hard year for a lot of reasons. The death of our heroes has just added to it.

One Year Ago

One year ago, I had my most wonderful little gift. My 6 lb 2 oz Maximilian. His birth was incredibly traumatic. I still only have still images in my head during that whole thing.

He is now a very opinionated almost-toddler. We celebrated his birthday on the 18th with friends.

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I love you so much, Mr. Max.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 30

Finally. The last day.

Fox & Broom|30 Days of Thankfulness

Day 30: What are you MOST thankful for?

All of the amazing people who have made themselves a part of my life and my circle. I can’t think of anything more wonderful.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 29

Fox & Broom|30 Days of Thankfulness

Day 29: Something At Home

I could be obvious and say “my family!” because, of course I am most thankful for my family at home. So, I think I am not going to say the obvious. I am going to say that I am most thankful for my home. I love my house. I love my yard, my 2300 square feet of 5 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. It’s a pain the ass at times, but I am thankful that we found this home.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 28

Fox & Broom|30 Days of Thankfulness

Day 28: Gift

WTF. Really? I think the person who created this silly list was losing their shit at this point. Gift? As in I have to choose from 40 years worth of gifts for that ONE gift that I am most thankful for??? I call BS on this one. I have been thankful for every gift that has been given to me. Tangible and intangible. And lately, I have been given so many gifts, or kindnesses as I have started to call them. I honestly could not ever choose one.

30 Days Of Thankfulness: Day 27

Fox & Broom|30 Days of Thankfulness

Day 27: Song

Well crap. This is like asking me which kid is my favorite. Or which book (which I answered, but which changes from moment to moment).

So, I guess I am most thankful for “Master and Servant” by Depeche Mode. No, I am not into that in my personal life (not that it is any of your business unless I post it here). It was the song that got me to really listen to more of Depeche Mode. Then I started listening to other artists. I guess it basically led to an appreciation for music that I had no idea that I had. “M & S” is funny, witty, dark, yet cheerful. I feel like I should be thankful for something more thought-provoking like Sigur Ros, but no. I love this silly song. And this is my blog.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 26

Ok. I got behind on these and I really want to finish them. I only have 5 days left. I had gotten sick and I am still recovering, but I am finally feeling well enough to sit at my computer.

Fox & Broom|30 Days of Thankfulness

Day 26: Charity

I will need to mention two. And yes, they are both cancer related. You will have to forgive me if that is pretty much constantly on my mind.

The first is The Warrior Sisterhood. These women are amazing and have helped to give support and even some normalcy with activities such as going to the pumpkin patch, painting, and family roller skating. I really can’t express to them how much their support has meant.

The second is the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network. These folks are fighting for more research and understanding about Stage IV breast cancer. There is surprising little research about MBC. The number of people living with MBC is even unknown. We just kind of get pushed to the wayside.

So, if you have a sudden need to support a charity, think of one of these. The Metastatic Breast Cancer Network is one of the Amazon Smile charities, so you can donate and shop.

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