I have made three years. Fuck you cancer. I feel like this is a big ‘versary for me. I don’t know the exact statistics, but a large number of MBCers are only given about 3 years. Fuck you again cancer.
It has been a bittersweet year. I am thankful to still be here, but I have lost a large number of friends to this damned disease.
Marg was working on having two books published. Both of them were about Ann Lowe. One was to be a children’s book, the other was an adult book. If you don’t know who Ann Lowe was, please look her up.
Beth had planned on a girl’s day out horseback trip. I will do one in her honor with my kids.
Gloria had brain cancer. It took her from her family and friends way too quickly.
Mike had leukemia. He was a survivor. He was never supposed to leave before me. He was my personal trainer, mentor, and friend.
So many more.
I would love to give you the statistics on MBC, but I wouldn’t be able to give the correct numbers. Supposedly, I have a 27% chance of making it to the five year mark. However, metastatic breast cancer numbers are off. They only include the people diagnosed initially with MBC. These numbers do not include people who were diagnosed with an earlier stage of breast cancer who were then diagnosed later with Stage IV.
I feel like this post is more harsh than my previous cancerversary posts. I am dealing with pain at the moment and I am sure that is making me pretty snippy. Funny enough, the pain is not actually cancer-related. It’s a little ball of fluid (edema) that has decided to live in my ribs. If you look up edema, you will mostly find articles about legs and arms. There isn’t much info about abdominal edema. I get to have the weird one.
As per my usual, I went through a few different treatments this year. My current one is working really well for me. My biggest issue is that is a once a week chemo which then requires two days of going back in to get Granix shots. The Granix keeps my white bloods cell numbers up. My treatment is Paclitaxol or Taxol for short. Having to plan around three days of appointments has been difficult, bu it is keeping my cancer tame and I am genuinely thankful for that.
The year has not been full of just loss. Grief can just feel bigger than the good things at times.
I met my biological mom and brother last August and my sister and a niece just a few months ago in May. I have also met a cousin and have come into contact with numerous aunts, other cousins, nieces, and nephews. My family nearly doubled by coming into contact with my birth family and that is saying a lot. I have a ton of cousins and now I have a ton more. My heart is fuller.
We sold our wonderful little house and bought a bigger house with my in-laws so we could keep an eye on my in-laws. It was a good move, but it was also hard to leave my house.
Gabriel took me to Greece. It was amazing and magical. I really need to write about it and post pictures.
I took Samedi on a surprise trip to Orlando. I told him he had a doctor’s appointment and was going to have shots. Then we wound up at the airport. I had spent two years saving up for this trip and it was absolutely worth it. He had a blast at DisneyWorld and, even with rain, he loved Universal Studios.
Here’s to another year of staring cancer down, savoring the small things, and celebrating the big things. As always, Fuck Cancer.