Fox and Broom

A mom's adventures in keeping healthy, keeping her sanity, and making stuff.

Archive for the category “Illness with cancer”

The Blackhole

I am back in the hospital. I was home for a whole day on Friday, February 12. Saturday… started downhill and didn’t stop.

I had to ask Gabe to help me to the restroom. On the way, which is not far, I told him I needed to sit down. He reached for a chair and I fell. Backwards. As if i were a trinket a cat knocked off the table.

I landed on my poor dog. He’s a pretty big guy, about 100 pounds. He squeaked like a mouse. He was not injured. My head hurt for two days.

Gabe called our eldest to help get me up. They got me to where I needed to be and we made the decision to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital safely. The roads were snowy and icy.

I was not able to was not able to walk upstairs. I couldn’t breathe. My travel oxygen machine was hooked up.

The EMTs checked me out, then put me on this stairclimber. Max was jealous and scared. The thing had tank wheels on it. I miss my kids.

I felt like we were in the ER for forever. If I had realized how long I would be staying, that thought would never have crossed my mind.

My new stay did not start well. Does any hospital stay start well? I’m not here for the five star rating.

I was told that if my breathing kept failing, I would be in ICU on intubation. I would be asleep most of the time and woken up about once a day. Or was it every couple of days?

I was sobbing after the doctor left. I worked on exercising my lungs.

I had four masks within two days. All for different reasons.

Normal Nose Leash
Can’t eat with this one.
The Frog
Really can’t eat.
Airflow and can eat.

Within the first few days, I went up and down with my breathing. It has been almost a week and we are still working on the proper oxygen flow. The goal is to have it as low as possible. This machine was meant for extra oxygen flow. I was to try to keep it in the low 90%.

I have been using the lung exerciser. I need to go up. I want to go up line by line. It has been helping. I do have trouble standing up. I have trouble sitting in a chair.

I have started to improve. I have things to do. It has been over a week. I was able to sit in a chair to eat lunch on Thursday, February 18. I use a walker and require help in getting up.

The doctor was more hopeful. He said he couldn’t be totally positive. He was pleased that I was displaying progress. I have been here longer than I thought. I hope to go home before another week passes.

I went into the hospital on February 13 and left on March 3. I do not like being in the hospital that long. The best feeling in the world is a shower at home afterwards.

It’s Just So Much

I needed time to process everything. In a way, I was forced to as Jesse required my iPad for his schoolwork. It was really the best thing for me.

An unimaginably awful amount of happenings came about within two months. My family is hurting. We will hurt for a long time.

Cathy died on January 26. She was an amazing and beautiful person. I have known her for more than half of my life.

She read books faster than most people eat dinner. She created the most magical things out of yarn. That is a witchery beyond me. Cathy was not afraid to try new crafts. She was inspiring.

Her catch phrase was “oh, well shit.” It’s classier than my “fuck, or fuckity fuck.” Not that I will stop.

Cathy & Gary

I hurt for myself. I hurt more for Gary, her sister, children, grands, the people that will always be part of our family. So many people loved her.

This is where I am indebted to the school board for depriving me of technology.

I am thankful.

With the crap that happened in December, I am still here. I was told I would need to contact palliative care. I did not need them nor did I go to hospice.

My father-in-law, John, and I were hospitalized with Covid-19. We are still recovering. We are getting better. Recovering from something like this is hard. Our lungs and muscles are still weak. The fatigue is pretty awful. We are slowly overcoming the bastard.

I will always be thankful to have a mother-in-law like Cathy. I truly have the best in-laws. All four of them.

I am grateful for my mom. She has been helping with my boys when I can not do the laundry or wash the dishes. Covid zaps the energy out of you.

(L to R) Papa John, Nana Bobi, Nana Jan, Me, Dad, Grandpa Gary, Grandma Cathy
Boys: (L to R) Jes, Sam, Max, Sol

My heart will continue to mourn.

I will continue to savor the small things and celebrate the big things.

I love all of you.

What Kind Of Cold Is This?

From April 6 up until the morning of April 10, I have felt like shit. It has been hard to eat. Hard to walk. Hard to move. On Saturday, my temperature spiked to 100.4. I am supposed to go to the ER if my temperature goes above 100.2.

So, to the ER we went. I had a lot of blood drawn and tests done. I was given some sort of heavy-duty pain medication that made me loopy and tired. They did not find anything that antibiotics would help, so I was eventually sent home with orders to take Tylenol. I was told that I had some sort of virus working its way through my system.

Holy shit. If this is what it feels like for me to get a cold now, I am tempted to just wear a medical mask everywhere I go. That was some crazy, awful, painful nonsense. But, now I understand why it is soooo important for normal people to keep their viruses away from folks who have a compromised immune system. Colds do not affect me in the same way. They completely knock me out. I don’t just get sniffles and a headache, I now get a full body ache, lose my ability to lift or move anything, and lose my appetite completely.

I am feeling better this morning and my appetite has returned, but that episode brought back flashbacks from my troubles just after I was first diagnosed. I seriously thought I was backsliding. It was scary. I am seeing my doctor today for a checkup and for my monthly bone treatment. I am hoping that this virus does not set back my treatments. It would seriously mess up some future plans if I have to delay getting my injection.

So, PLEASE be cautious of your friends (and newborns – newborns need a few weeks to buildup their immunity) who have compromised immune systems. “Just a cold” or “only a sniffle” becomes so much more for someone with no defenses.

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